Monday, January 22, 2018

Melania Mondays!

Just because legions of DC paper pushers are taking a holiday thanks to vote hungry Democrats doesn't mean America's popular and glamorous First Lady takes a break. Far from it, Melania took to social media this weekend to say how much she's enjoyed her first year as FLOTUS.

"This has been a year filled with many wonderful moments. I’ve enjoyed the people I’ve been lucky enough to meet throughout our great country & the world!" 

The people of America have enjoyed the First Lady too and weren't shy to say so on Twitter. For example:

"Thank you Melania for gracing our White House with your elegance, quiet strength, intelligence, gentle loving spirit and love for God and this country. We have needed you for a very long time!!"

"You have been a great and unique, blessed addition to @realDonaldTrump @POTUS Presidency. We are grateful for all U do especially for America and for loving the American people who have been badly mistreated during last 8 years. G-D Bless you. EB."

"From the moment you stepped on the national stage you have brought grace & style to your position. Everywhere you travel you make us proud as a people. You have endured much unfair criticism which you rise above. Thank you for all you do, gracious First Lady of our land."

"Thank u dear Melania. You bring such grace and beauty with u every where u go as u represent America. We r so thankful. God Bless You."

However, some compared the stylish former model and devout catholic unfavourably to her predecessor, Michelle Obama. Here at Melania Mondays! we leave you to be the judge of that.

Well done Melania, for doing your part to make America great again and happy anniversary!



Sunday, January 21, 2018

Hog Poetry!

Here it is readers, the latest Hog Poetry.

Nor do we merely feel these essences
For one short hour; no, even as the hogs
That root round a temple become soon
Dear as the temple's self, so does the moon,
The reticule illuminate, glories infinite,
Haunt us till they become a cheering light
Unto our souls, and bound to us so fast,
That, whether there be swine, or gloom o'ercast;
They always must be with us, and hogs die. 

Carry on,


Mimetic Sunday

We've all been to Mass and worshiped God and quite right too, but now it's time to kick back and enjoy a couple of memes.

Handy Adolf


And here's an icon, because it's Sunday.

God bless,


Friday, January 19, 2018

Guns And Meat

It's important to visit the flock and with that in mind I drove out into the great frozen steppe of North Central Texas. Once it was home to bucolic groves of mesquite and cactus but now all that remains is icy tundra and the sad debris of broken solar arrays, a mute testament to one state's failure to pay the Weather Tax.

Sobered by the chill dystopian wasteland, I crunched over the permafrost of my friend's drive, ever thankful of the warming insulation of a pair of Merrells. And there was the Captain, hosing down two empty freezers. We talked, drank coffee and enjoyed a firearms show and tell, which included a Chinese SKS.

"Nice weapon," I commented, sighting down the Chicom beast at a deer feeder 100 yards away. "It's yours, Merry Christmas, padre!" exclaimed the Captain, who then loaded up a cooler with venison, pig and wild turkey. "All yours!"

Then it was time to head back to the Compound, struck by the generosity, eager to try out the latest rifle and defrost some meat. There's plenty.

In related news, some place in Switzerland has refused to grant a vegan citizenship because she was "too annoying."

God bless and big thanks, Captain.


Wednesday, January 17, 2018

Bishops Abandon ACoC!

Do you remember ACoC, the tiny Canadian Anglican franchise? Perhaps not, you've been busy watching Ice Ice Baby on a continuous loop. But press pause and listen up; ACoC's bishops are abandoning their dimunitive denomination in droves.

ACoC Bishop Figures

Archbishop Fred Hiltz, ACoC supremo, has announced his resignation. Michael Bird, Bishop of Niagara, Colin Johnson of Toronto, Donald Phillips of Rupert's Land and now Archbishop Privett of Kootenay and The People, have all told the world they're Xing out of ACoC.

Why are these bishop figures leaving the church they helped to destroy build? Here's Samizdat:

Time We Left This Planet

They are all liberal and heartily endorse same-sex marriage. Why have they all decided to leave now? Do they know something we don’t about the fate of the ACoC? Are they concerned that there is no future for them in the ACoC because they are all heterosexual? Have they reached that stage in life when ambition yields to the sad realisation that all the ecclesiastical mayhem that can possibly be inflicted on the Anglican Communion in one lifetime has already been wrought during their climb up the greasy clerical pole?

Return To The Source!

All good questions but let's apply Occam's Razor. Could it be that, work done, the Mothership is calling them home?

Food for thought, eh?


Tuesday, January 16, 2018


It seems Texas has a new anthem. Thanks 'Horse. (RHSM)

As you were,



Was it celestial outrage over the British Army's new ad campaign, heavenly anger at the MillSoc antics of Moby and Sean Penn or just our old enemy, the weather, getting back at Texas for failing to pay a tribute tax? Who knows but for whatever reason, ice began to fall from the sky last night.


It started off as freezing rain, driven by icy blasts of bonesplitting wind that swept the porch as though it were the open bridge of a ship in a winter gale. Then the rain turned to ice, followed by tiny shards of snow. 

Sure, if this was Calgary everyone would be heaving a sigh of relief at the warmth of it all but this is Texas and -9+ is something to be conjured with, to say nothing of Sky Ice.


The day dawned to a scene of frozen stasis. Nothing moved except a man and a blue dog on their way to the Pick 'n Steal, which was miraculously open. Then it hit me, an epiphany or eureka moment. Go to Walmart and buy a butt roast and slow cook that porcine beast until it's fall off the bone tender. And that's what I did.

The End of The World

Walmart was empty, you could fire off a canon and not hit anyone, but the pork was there. It's rubbed and ready for the Compound's oven, while we clean weapons, load magazines and dare the Weather to do its worst.



Monday, January 15, 2018

New British Army Ads, Some Kind Of Joke?

Some say that Gloucestershire is God's Own County, others say it's Yorkshire or somewhere else. Whatever the case, the Gloucestershire Regiment's no more; it was amalgamated with the Hampshires, becoming the "Hampsters" and then disappeared.

I think that's a shame, not least because of the history of the thing. Back to back at Alexandria, fight till the bullets run out at Imjin Hill and all the rest, which made the Glosters the Glorious Glosters or "Mess Tin Heads," depending on your preference. You can take pride in that but no more, it's gone.

Of course the British Army's about a different kind of pride these days. (thanks for the heads up, LL) You never know, when the enemy attacks our rainbow warriors they might die laughing.

Great Britain is apparently preparing for a new kind of war, a war in which gay Muslims defend the realm against... against what? Judy Garland?

All the way to the Emerald City,


Sunday, January 14, 2018

So Just Who Is Moby?

So who is "Moby", the elusive vegan Millionaire Socialist behind the CIA's attempt to bring down President Trump?

Gwen, center, holding Moby

Moby is a pop genius superstar worth a paltry $32 million. He once appeared alongside Gwen Steffani and went to the Southside, which was pretty MAGA.

Then he went anti-MAGA and produced a pop video about rainbow colored bears. Was that before, during or after his involvement with the Central Intelligence Agency? 

Is Moby a schizophrenic? Or just a pencil neck beta cuck?

You, the reader, be the judge.

Your Old Pal,


Mimetic Sundays



Saturday, January 13, 2018

Time And Eternity

As I drove through the country lanes of bucolic Texas, I reflected on time and eternity. God, unless you're a panentheist, a process theologian or some other similar scoundrel, is eternal. He is simple, immutable, in pure act, and all times are present to Him in a simultaneity. 

Here's Jacques Maritain, the great French Thomist, on the subject.

“GOD'S PLAN is eternal, as is the creative act itself, though it has its effect in time. God’s plan is established from all eternity. But eternity is not a kind of divine time which precedes time. It is a limitless instant which indivisibly embraces the whole succession of time. All the moments of that succession are physically present on it. If all things are naked and open to the eyes of God it is because they are seen by His divine “science of vision” in their presentness. “To foresee” is an improper word to use when speaking of God. We employ it because we project into His eternity the anteriority (in relation to future events) of the knowledge which we would have of those events if we knew them before they happened. They are known to Him “already,” which is to say, always. He sees them as actually taking place at a given temporal instant which is present in His eternity. All things and all events in nature are known to Him at their first coming forth and in the eternal morning of His vision, because they are willed by Him, beyond all time, in the eternal instant with which their whole succession coexists."

 This is Typical

But what about free will?

“But when we deal with the world of freedom, and not only with that of nature, when we deal with free existents, creatures endowed with freedom of choice (a freedom inevitably fallible), we must go still farther. We must say that in a certain fashion those creatures have their part in the very establishment of the eternal plan, not, indeed, by virtue of their power to act (here all they have they hold of God) but by virtue of their power to nihilate* to make the thing that is nothing, where they themselves are first causes. Free existents have their part in the establishment of God’s plan, because in establishing that plan, He takes account of their initiatives of nihilating."

So, from all eternity, in the timeless present instant of God's necessary knowledge, Sean Penn's decision to be an enemy of mankind is just that, Sean Penn's decision.

Enemy Of Mankind

Present knowledge of a contingent event doesn't make it any the less contingent, readers, all four of you.

Build the Wall,